Bring in the clouds

Have you ever noticed how certain cities don't fare very well in extreme weather conditions? As I sit at my computer in my bikini, refusing to stray more than a few feet away from a whirring fan, I'm thinking more specifically about London in the Summer heat.

If London were a person, it would be a city banker. A youngish man, still hungry for recognition but not yet sucked dry by the long days at a stressful job and the short boozy nights. Good looking in an angular, slightly rumpled way, London is both attractive and distant, as if it were withholding the best it has to offer. It needs a bit of a cloud cover to mask the edges and the dirt. Yet when it gets too sunny and hot, London becomes overbearing like an old sweaty uncle wearing a scratchy, ill-fitting polyester suit. It smells and it sticks to you with clammy paws. You want to get away from it but wherever you turn, there it is.

If you think you will have a picnic in the park and get a bit of fresh air, there it is in the form of loud, overweight half-naked sun bathers guzzling cider. Try and get out of London and just entering the urban inferno that is the tube during heat waves will send running to your overcrowded local lido for a dip in lukewarm water or any cinema showing a longish feature (I recommend the latest installment of the Batman franchise: two hours and a half of dark action. Not a minute of onscreen sunshine) for the air conditioning.

People can complain all they want that it's never warm or sunny enough, but I still think London is most agreeable in the Spring and the Autumn. At the moment, I'm secretly wishing for a nice Summer storm followed by a few gray days to cool everything down and get London back to its louche/aloof best.